There is a Solution – I finally found it

As a wayward teenager I always loved to drink, it was the only thing that allowed a desperately introverted and painfully shy person such as myself could engage and interact with other humans. It also provide a lot of 'Dutch Courage' to commit fairly serious crimes whilst in hanging out in gangs.

Having put drinking down in early years to teenage rebellion, I pretty much carried on but with a very different lifestyle, I reinvented myself into an 'IT professional champagne supernova'. I worked hard and played hard!! Unfortunately the consequences of my drinking finally caught up with me and I struggled to hold on on to my job. As a result of my drinking I kept getting sacked from every job, till eventually I was virtually unemployable and my misdemeanours got me in constant trouble with police.

At this stage I knew I needed help, so first off I went to my doctor, who was clearly not interested. I think she found me irritating and melodramatic. Then I went to a Twelve Step Fellowship and ran to hills after seeing the word God in the Steps. Then I went to a therapist which was a painstaking analysing frenzy which found me back at the bottle and square one. Next up I tried some alternative forms of therapy out of desperation: acupuncture, spiritual healing, past-life regression. This was all a bit 'Totnes' for my liking as Im a very down to earth. So then I found myself looking towards sports as my cure. This worked well for me as long as I didn't socialise and or live a 'normal' life, as I had proved countless times…..I just cannot be trusted!!

So after many, many years of letting ME run the show, I decided to give meetings another chance….after all what had I too lose??  I remember sneering in my head that the meeting would be full of cranks and nut jobs moaning about their lives. How wrong I was. I was 'blown away' by the joy and happiness in the room. My perception and judgment was starting to shift….I remember thinking "I want some of this". Finally surrendering my ego and 'getting' Step One was the best thing I have ever done.  Doing the Twelve Steps of the program of recovery, getting connected to my higher power and getting a sponsor means I don't have to run the show anymore. I feel a peace and joy that all the therapy in the world couldn't give me. I can trust myself at last to live in the 'real world' and live a sociable life without the desire for alcohol which has been completely removed. I couldn't imagine a life without the Twelve Steps. There is a solution – I finally found it!!!!
       
Road to Recovery Plymouth