New Year Resolutions in Alcoholics Anonymous

I’ve tried a few times to make New Year’s resolutions in recovery. Few of them have stuck! I am reminded of the lines in the book Alcoholics Anonymous “the needed power wasn’t there” and “so we let God discipline in this simple way”. I’m not very good at using will power to change. Yet, I have changed over the years, hugely. It’s difficult to put my finger on what has changed me. I will try to dig out a few thoughts.

One is humility. Through Step 10 and 11 I’ve grown in humility. Letting a Higher Power into my life through regular prayer, meditation and reading. makes me more humble: I don’t just mean 30 seconds morning and evening, and reading AA literature. I mean perhaps 15 minutes a day, and also visiting congregations or temples or meditation groups. Reading a page of a spiritual non-AA book a day. I’ve often realised, 4 years after reading some good idea in a book, that I’m finally starting to do it! Step 10 is an – often self-forced – feeding of humble pie: THEY’RE not to blame, I realise.

The humility stops me from seeking rapid and impressive-looking methods of change. I accept my weakness. But I also accept that if I wait around for something magical to happen to someone else to change me, it’s not gonna happen: I’m not important enough! So I try to develop simple habits. I seek out small improvements.

I’ll give some examples, not to recommend them for others, but to show how small changes can be.

I’ve often been allowed to manage my own work start and end times. And I’ve often not done it successfully. So a small improvement I could make was to start keeping a note for myself of when I start and end work. At least then I’m holding myself to account. And, surprise surprise, I’m more reliable about my working times now.

I used to have a significant problem with spending money I didn’t have. Rather than setting up budgets and complicated plans, I stopped using my credit card. A tiny simple rule. Over time it changed EVERYTHING.

I fell behind on my Step 10s and let a lot of them build up. Rather than aiming for some huge resolution of “I’ll do all my Step 10s to catch up, and then do Step 10s every night”, I simply began to do 1-2 of the Step 10s each night that I’d fell behind on. Over time these built up.

I hate tidying up my house. I used to have a cleaner then I decided I couldn’t afford one. But I still didn’t tidy my house myself! Rather than say to myself “from this day forth I will keep my house perfectly tidy every week”, I decided to do 10 minutes of housework a day. After a while I’d learned to clean toilets, sinks, baths and bought a new hoover.

So I rarely make new year’s resolutions. But this year I did look back on the previous 12 months to see what I’d achieved, and I was gratified by the improvements. I guess God has disciplined me in this simple way.

Grateful Member, Plymouth Road to Recovery