Armistice

Armistice

An armistice is a situation in a war where the warring parties agree to stop fighting. It is not necessarily the end of a war, but may be just a cessation of hostilities while an attempt is made to negotiate a lasting peace. It is derived from the Latin arma, meaning weapons and statium, meaning a stopping. From Wikipedia

After many years of increasing drinking and increasing unhappiness and never connecting the two, I arrived at a point in my life and my drinking where I realised that I could not go on. And worse still I could see the progression and unimaginable depths of despair yet to come.

I was at war with myself constantly. So I could never win. I knew there was something wrong with me and I had to drink to numb this emptiness. Everything was at risk from my drinking but I could not stop. I phoned AA and like a lot of people arrived at a meeting not because I thought I was an alcoholic, but because alcohol was a problem that I could no longer deal with.

I understood very little of what I heard but I liked the way people were. I wanted to be a part of this because they clearly had a sense of ease and comfort I had barely found through drinking, but I did not dare to believe it was possible. I was a pessimist, I could not trust hope in case of disappointment. But this seemed real. These people seemed genuine and they said I could have this too. I listened to them talk about how they used to be and identified when they spoke about how the first drink set up a phenomenon of craving and the inevitability of repeating that first drink again and again despite what always happened. And I began to realise that I was one of them, an alcoholic.

Many people talk of Step One and surrender at this point. An excellent plan but it was not exactly so for me. The recent Remembrance Day got me thinking about the Armistice of World War I and when I looked it up the description above just seemed to fit exactly with what happened in my first meeting where I heard an alternative. Logic and emotion had been fighting every step of the way in my life. I knew that drinking was not a good idea but on an emotional level it seemed to do the job, or at least paper over the cracks. So at this point I declared a ceasefire with myself and got a sponsor and started on the solution to my problem.

He asked me to take some actions which I would never have thought of in a million years as being of any help to me. These were the Terms of the Armistice for me. I did not like the God thing but was past caring. I did not have to even believe in what I was doing, just act as if I did.

Just this ceasefire was infinitely better than the war. When I demonstrated that I was doing these things, (which was easy to see because I started to brighten up and feel better very quickly) my sponsor started to take me through the Steps. I was hungry for peace and taking Steps 1, 2 and 3 felt like a surrender. I surrendered to a programme of Twelve Steps which led me to finding a God of my own understanding which: a) kept me sober and b) gave me the strength to live life on life’s terms.

I did not look at it all this way at the time, but it just seems to make perfect sense now. My life felt like a war. The armies in my war were my character defects, all fighting the world for control of my life. Recovery has given me peace and, as time has gone on, the sense of surrender is stronger. My problems are still there but there is little power in them as long as I am able to maintain what I have found, putting AA first and trying to pass this on to others.

ome people seem to come to AA and think stopping drinking is all that is needed, maybe it is for them. But some go back to the war and end up drinking again, thinking AA does not work. Others are convinced of their alcoholism and are ready to surrender on the spot. For me I needed an armistice so I could begin to see what was what.
 
If you are new or just still at war with everything, I hope that this helps you understand the difference between active alcoholism, abstinence and recovery. My experience is that by taking direction from a sponsor who has been through the Steps and recovered and is continuing to practice those principles in his life, then you too can find the peace needed to live a happy, sober and useful life.

Chris S., Road to Recovery Group Plymouth, July 2013